Hey All , I am Jemshena Sajid. I come from India. I am a Medical Doctor currently studying German in order to pursue my Postgraduate,medical specialisation in Germany. I travel everyday to Duisburg, Germany to learn German language.
I got married to my husband, Sajid in 2016 in the middle of my studies. My husband started his PhD in May 2016 and moved to Eindhoven. I stayed back in India to complete my studies. I joined him on a short vacation in 2016 for 3 months here in Eindhoven. That is when I came to know about GiT and the whole program from my husband.
I was preparing for my University finals and, therefore, I refrained from joining GiT and all activities here in Eindhoven. I would constantly feel lonely and left out. I think it was because I was not embracing the social life here. I went back to India and completed my studies and medical training. And finally moved back to Eindhoven in May 2018 and this time I was determined not to shut myself from the social life I have in Eindhoven.
Eindhoven is a great city which welcomes Expats so warmly and wholeheartedly. I knew the first step was to be a part of GiT. I went to the Git fb page, took Carola’s mail address and sent her an email. She replied back inviting me to the next Git. I went for my first ever Git with Thasni, my friend, neighbour and a regular participant of Git programs. I met Carola and she welcomed me with a warm hug to the Git family. She really made me feel comfortable with her kind and genuine behaviour. Thereafter, I attended several GiT meetings at several places whenever I had time.
I think GiT is a wonderful platform for spouses who accompany their partners because when we are new to a place that too a different country, continent and culture all together ,we face several problems of which the most important is making a social life in that country. GiT organises varieties of programmes ranging from having a tete-a-tete with many Dutch professionals like Career developers, Health professionals, Financial experts etc to having a day of fun in the children’s park, visiting the local places and exhibitions. If it has not been with Carola, I doubt the success of the program. Her warmth is what makes GiT so special along with contributors and the participants of the program. I wish all the success to Carola and GiT from the bottom of my heart.
Eindhoven was not my first experience as an expat. I lived a bit more than 3 years in Canada (French speaking part) before coming to the Netherlands in August 2016. I followed my boyfriend there and again here, and I have to say the expat experience in Eindhoven is much different, especially for spouses (or “desperate housewives” as I like to joke about it). Get in Touch is one of the reasons why I feel good in Eindhoven. It was not easy at the beginning; I kind of cheated for my first Get in Touch meeting. It was apple picking at the Phillips Fruittuin. So I brought my boyfriend and a French girl we met few days ago at the Hub. We did not stay for long with the others. I didn’t remember it was the first time I met Swapnali until I checked the pictures on the GiT family Facebook group; that’s how we mixed with people that day…
At that point, I have to say that I had no confidence about speaking English. Well, I used to read novels in English and watch TV shows and film in English, but my year in Scotland was far (and I wasn’t that good at that time anyway) and, except for few parties with internationals in Canada, I almost never spoke English. So I felt quite dumb while talking with my weird accent and rusty English. And another problem is my reserved attitude. When I meet new people, I tend to listen to them and not say too much myself, and it’s even worse when there is more than one person discussing with me… Also, I don’t feel awkward when there is a blank in the conversation, am I weird?
My next GiT was the Strijp S tour, where I was with Carola only, no other spouses showed up. The part where I tried a kimono was quite nice. At the end of the tour, we reached SGE International for a presentation and joined some spouses. I discovered when we arrived that the presentation was about pregnancy in the Netherlands. Well, since I was the only one not concerned by the subject, it was a bit weird but I learned some things.
Then, from January 2017, I joined the International Spouse Program at the TU/e sport center and, instead of seeing my fellow spouses once a week (which is already nice), I met them 3 to 4 times a week. Through the 10 weeks of program, I began to open up more to the others and I became friends with some spouses.
After both the first meetings in September, I missed a lot of the following ones (5 over 6 I think) until mid November. I don’t know exactly why, for a great part my laziness to interact with people, especially in English, I think. The meeting at that time was at the TU/e sport center (SSCe), Susan Lambriks told us about the International Spouse Program – I will come back to it later. Joining more often allowed me to meet people more than once. During a meeting about healthy food, we decided with the two other present spouses to prepare a workshop on the very same subject.
When I found a job in October 2017, I was quite sad to stop going to GiT meetings. I left my job in May and wasn’t able to join GiT meetings before the “End of season Potluck” in July. I was so happy to meet again with other spouses in September.
What annoyed me at the beginning of “my GiT” was the fact that I just had small talk with others at each meeting and it was difficult for me to build friendship on it, but it’s so important to get out of the house, to discover Eindhoven, to have activities and talks with other spouses that live the same expat experience… And friends came a bit later, through the ISP at TU/e for me, during the dance extra GiT for other I bet, and I also saw that some spouses created/joined an English speaking group on Facebook and met once to twice a week.
Balancing on the rope while my friends help me.
To conclude, I would say that GiT allowed me to make friends and to feel at home in Eindhoven, even if at the beginning I was shy/lazy/skeptical, yes, a bit of those three. It’s like everything, more you invest in it, more you get in return.
This is Humaira, always have been a friendly, outspoken person. I am from Bangladesh (Chittagong) and did my bachelor’s in Electrical and Electronic Engineering. I was a high school physics teacher in an international school before coming here. On 13th July, 2017 I got married with Siam who is currently doing PhD in TU/e. I paid a short visit to Netherlands for two months (October-November) to collect my residence permit. Then I went back to Bangladesh for my reception program. That time we moved to a new apartment in Eindhoven, went on a tour to Paris (first time for me) as well as different cities in Netherlands. When I returned to my country, being sad I saw so many snowy pictures on Facebook. I thought I missed it. Finally, I moved to Eindhoven on March,2018. After one week, I had not recovered from jetlag that time, woke up early to a mesmerizing view of snow as a magnificent carpet on the road in front of my house. I went out with my cousin who came to visit me and played with snow like children.
Ahhhhhhh!! What an incident!! We decided to settle here and did not want to feel like a tourist here. I like to be a part of an International community. Fortunately, immediately after coming here I came to know about “Get in Touch” program from Reffat, who also participated in different Git activities earlier and was very enthusiastic about it. I still remember the day Reffat introduced me to Carola saying, “you are going to enjoy this a lot because Carola is such a kind-hearted person”. That is how my journey begins in Get in Touch that occurs once a week. My first Git experience is unforgettable. It was a dance lesson where Thasni was teaching us Indian dance style. I met several spouses from different countries there and enjoyed a lot. That is the day I decided not to skip any other activities organized by Git. Moreover, I specially loved the ending session, where we talk about each other’s experience and interests regarding each day’s activity.
To be very honest, after coming here I was a bit worried about the new beginning of life, new place, new culture. I also wanted to get a new job. Instinctively, we fear change. Luckily, Git was there to assist and guide me. While joining the program, I was thinking it could be a great place to spend some good time. Nonetheless, I am truly happy to say that it is more than that. Throughout my journey I discovered so many useful things like Dutch culture, Chinese embroidery, decoupage, trips, career supporting classes, different dance styles, different cultures and their food and so on. I want to mention particularly two things, firstly I learned biking after coming here. A very big thanks to Megha who gave me time with care and taught me. Secondly, with the help of Carola I enrolled into Dutch class and our teacher Hermine is such a loving person. These helped me a lot to be familiar with Dutch culture. We, the spouses come from different countries with different cultures and languages, but with the same sentiment of leaving our families, adapting to a new culture, finding someone to share our uncertainty; Git represents our emotion, and this is what makes it exceptional.
To be very specific on my special moment regarding Git is when I told about my Git experience in my interview at Thermo Fisher Scientific and got the job (Yaaaaaay)!! Besides, we organized a potluck picnic at Speelpark de Splinter where we tasted different countries food and played like kids. That is one of the most memorable moments I will cherish forever.
I cannot thank enough the most beautiful person inside and outside “Carola” for taking initiative of such a lovely get together that helps women like us become more self-confident and grow together. To all the gorgeous ladies, who are part of Git, “Cheers to life and Git (good friends)!
I’d like to dedicate my story to you, “the new one”, the one with the head full of questions about the experience that’s about to start – or that just started. Buckle up and enjoy the ride, there will be nothing but a true personal growth for you and your partner!
I’m Jenny Campos, 34 years old, Venezuelan. I was born and lived most of my life in Maracaibo, the capital of Zulia, Venezuela. We call this city “the land loved by the sun” (La tierra del sol amada). Where the sun shines all year long, the average temperature is above 35 °C and the sun rises and sets at the same time every day. Where going to the warm beach or to the outdoor swimming pool during the weekend is a plan valid through the entire year.
Therefore, I believe I have no need to further express my feelings for the Dutch weather. As you may presume, I don’t like it very much. But rest assured, you too will get used to it and you’ll embrace it as part of your daily life, like a true local. Biking in the pouring rain will be nothing but a common event. Cold winter days will be nice memories when the hottest summer days appear. The colours of spring will bring joy to your heart. And the orange of fall will make you want to sit in the park all day.
I came to The Netherlands on February 28th 2014: 4 years, 6 months and 15 days ago, including today, when I’m writing this note. Don’t worry I don’t count in years, months and days all the time – and you won’t either! Time passes by quickly and sometimes it is only Facebook’s “On this day…” Memories App that helps you remember how long it has been.
A lot has happened since the day I set foot in Schiphol Airport in 2014. I had been in this place before, in 2009 but as a tourist; this was my first time coming here as an Expat. Since my arrival to The Netherlands I’ve lived in Eindhoven and Utrecht. I’ve worked in Beverwijk and Rotterdam. And I’ve visited many other cities as a “normal” tourist. Trying to summarize all this time in a few paragraphs will be a challenge, but let’s see what I can do!
I will have to start a bit back, around mid-2012, when my husband and I talked about expanding our horizons and putting efforts to experience life abroad. Before the end of that year, not under any magical or casual circumstances, I quit my job as Process Superintendent at a Chemical Manufacturing Plant. I had been a year and a half in that position, and before four years as Process Engineer. As Chemical Engineer I loved my job and I was passionate about my career. But I needed a change and it came in good timing. After I quit my job I focused on finishing my post-graduate studies as a Safety Engineering Specialist. Additionally, I spent a lot of time looking for options abroad and preparing all the necessary documentation to migrate.
On December 6th 2013, I went to my graduation ceremony with my husband; he was also receiving a diploma, Magister Scientiarum in Chemical Engineering. Furthermore, we had our flight tickets in hand and plans set, destination: The Netherlands. During our graduation party we announced to family and friends that we were leaving in two months. This generated an indescribable mix of emotions, to say the least. Between tears, laughs and hugs we were ready for the new adventure.
My husband had found a position at TU/e as a PhD Candidate in the Department of Chemical Engineering and Chemistry. This is how and why I got introduced to the “Get-in-Touch program for the wives of TU/e internationals”. I still have the first email that was sent to my husband on January 13th, 2014; more than a month before I was arriving to The Netherlands. At no cost I would have the opportunity to “know a lot of others in Eindhoven, and get to know the city”. I didn’t hesitate to get involved. My GiT story started at that very moment when, leaving worries behind and with no agenda, I opened up for the new experience.
Having the opportunity to read again that first email, I noticed that the programme was supposed to last for three months. Good that it was at no cost for us, otherwise I would be in great debt with TU/e. Even to this day I continue to feel part of “Carola’s GiT Family”, and I think part of me will never leave. During the seven months I lived in Eindhoven, I got involved in as many activities as I could, both prepared by the program and by the other ladies I met in the group. From walks around the city, to activities in the Common Room, potlucks, language courses, special events and birthday celebrations; I always tried to be there. It was nice to be busy and to be around people that shared a similar story to yours.
In a very Dutch straight-forward way, it’s also true that you won’t like everyone and not everyone will like you. But it is what it is. You will have the opportunity to practice respect, tolerance and kindness. You will be challenged to accept how each individual deals with their experience and you will have the opportunity to learn how to be compassionate to them. I made great friends that are still present in my life; and I keep in touch with others, even if it’s only with a yearly message on their birthday through social media.
Reflecting back on my experience, something that helped me was that I created no expectations on how the group would work or what activities I wanted them to do. As long as I was busy, I was happy. Nevertheless, I did make my strategy around re-building my career in The Netherlands. Not only did I want to “feel independent” and make a contribution to my own family (…or more like take care of my own impulsive shopping expenses -joke-); I wanted to make sure I made a structure to continue my professional career path. Through GiT I was able to get in contact with a local recruiter and also with a life and career coach. Good, and not so good, experiences with these volunteers helped me strengthen my skills, both personal and professional, for the job market in The Netherlands. I was also enthusiastic about learning Dutch, and I enjoyed the classes provided by the program. They also helped me make connections to further develop the language skills.
Coincidentally, or not, my husband will have his PhD Defense in a week! When I got the email with Carola’s request I felt it was an opportunity for me to close the cycle as well. I have taken this occasion to carefully reflect and to internally give thanks to what brought me to this great group, and what I got in return from my commitment and time. I know I will always cherish the experiences because they made me grow and bear with this new world in a better way. My chapter with GiT prepared me for what would be, and still is, the rollercoaster life of an Expat in The Netherlands.
So, dear “New GiT Spouse”, give yourself the opportunity to integrate, share and collaborate. Receive this opportunity with open heart and open mind. Make of this your safe space, one of your happy places. I’m sure you won’t regret it. Above all, be grateful that you have the opportunity that many others could not get.
To this day I quote TU/e’s motto to its employees: “Happy Wife, Happy Life”, although for a long time I considered it a condescending thing to say directly to us (the wives). We too came a long way and made a lot of sacrifices to be here with our partners. No need to make us feel like a burden or a worry to our spouses, right? But things change, you grow, and now I reflect on it differently: My happiness is in my hands, and life provides great opportunities to be happy; in consequence, I see the life around me as a happy life.
So yes: Happy Wife, Happy Life! Let GiT provide you with the amount of happiness you need through this experience in your “home away from home”.
My name is Ágnes Borza and I am from Hungary, from Budapest. I am a mathematician and I have been living with my partner in Eindhoven since September 2017.
I met with my boyfriend in 2012 at the university. We first became friends, later we fell in love with each other. We never wanted to move abroad. However, after the master studies (summer 2017) he received a PhD opportunity in Eindhoven. Because we wanted to stay together we decided to move to The Netherlands together. We can say that we are lucky because Hungary is in the EU, so we did not have any major documentary problems, and it was easy to move.
After we moved out we had to learn a lot. We moved from our parents for the first time, and immediately to a foreign country. We couldn’t visit the introductory week, so I didn’t know about GiT. However, the university sent us an e-mail describing that a sport program for partners starts in October in the university sports center. Because the sport plays an important role in my life, I was enthusiastic about it, but the beginning of the program was shifted to January because of the instructor’s surgery. So I stayed alone at home on weekdays. I was terribly bored and I had a big homesick. I missed my family and my friends. It made me worse that I didn’t get a job, I couldn’t occupy myself.
But in January the sport program started, where I felt very happy. Several girls mentioned that there is another group and I should join. So I got to know about GiT, which changed my life! On the one hand I have a weekly program where we get to know a lot of interesting things. On the other hand I realized I am not alone! The girls are in the same situation like me. Almost everyone is highly educated and graduated but without job. We can’t find a job. They helped me to understand that the problem is not with me. We are all here to support our partners and live with them.
At the beginning I was afraid to go to my first meeting. I was afraid I didn’t speak English very well and this would be a problem. That everybody knows each other except me and I will just sit there and I will not feel good. But that didn’t happen! Everyone was incredibly kind to me and very receptive. Several people told me they were already in Budapest, which was my heart’s delight. Because I love my city, my country and I really want to go back.
Since I’ve been a member of GiT, I feel better. Every week I wait for the day when we finally meet. We talk a lot, laugh, share our joy and sorrow. Sometimes we meet in the city or at our place of residence. Many members live in the same building.
We made handicraft things many times that I enjoy very much. That’s why I invited Megha to our apartment because she likes these things too and we sewed a patchwork pattern together. It would be good to organize such occasions and involve other members who would like to join. Sometimes we might even try new techniques. Everyone would show what she knows and teach the others.
Decoupage workshop
I’ve been living in Eindhoven for almost a year. The girls helped me a lot this time. I still have some homesick and I’m still trying to find a job. But my mood is much better, thanks to GiT.
My name is Thasni Thahira and I am a post graduate of Microbiology. I came from India (Kerala) to the Netherlands with my husband. He is doing PDEng at TU/e. I have been living in Eindhoven since December 2017. I got married on 23 August 2017. My husband moved here in September and he applied visa for me. First we thought it takes time for procedure but for me everything was fast at that time.
First time in my life I moved from my parents and outside my country. I missed my family and friends a lot. Anyways, I reached here on 9 December night; it was almost 19:30. Next morning I woke up with snow site. It was amazing view for me because it was first time in my life. We got a nice apartment with huge balcony beside bedroom and it was full of snow.
After two days I had an appointment in the Expat center. My husband couldn’t come with me so the day before that, he went out with me and showed me the way to go the Expat center. Next day I went alone but I forgot the way. The tunnels confused me but fortunately a man pointed at the direction of Primark. From there I knew the direction. But on the way back home, I didn’t know how to reach my apartment and I lost my way. I was confused, walked around an hour near PSV road. I had no internet and my NL sim was not activated at that time. How can I call my husband! It was a horrible moment. Finally, I found the right way and also realized where I was mistaken. It was a proud moment for me. Nowadays when I think of that moment, it makes me smile.
After three weeks, I heard about GiT programme from my husband. Then I emailed to Carola. Immediately I got her reply and I felt so happy. Because of Christmas vacation it was going to start after New Year and I eagerly waited for that day. During the first GiT, I was a little bit shy and afraid about what kind of programme and how I can communicate with other girls. They are from different countries and different cultures. But after two meet up I was so happy, and I got several friends. I understood that they are in the same situation like me. We exchange our happiness and sorrow and that is what makes GiT.
GiT happens once in a week and every week I eagerly wait for that day. Every week different activities like crochet, paintings, embroidery, tours, trips, career supporting classes, dance, music, potlucks etc. take place. I learned so many things through GiT and I like to give my heart-full thanks to my dear Carola and my friends. And I learned not only the dutch culture but also different cultures through my friends. We organized so many programmes in and outside GiT. We had a great event in ASML and I contributed my foods and mehendi work on that day. Every now and then we meet in someone’s residence to share our thoughts and do these kinds of events. I visited many times to Megha’s home to do crochet making and for discussions. I think she taught most of the spouses in the GiT and thank you Megha for your patience because it takes time for a beginner. I am very thankful to my Dutch teacher Hermine. She teaches like a mother. And I am thankful to Eliana and Nandita. We study together in Dutch class and we have learned so many things during those classes. Once again thank you Carola for giving this Dutch classes in TU/e.
Most of the spouses are living in the same building and because of that we can help each other during any activities. So, I feel much better than when I came here first. Right now, I am emotionally attached to this place and I still am trying to get a job.
“I will go anywhere with you as long as we are together. We have waited a long time for that.” My name is Megha Vaidya and I am a graduate of English and Culture. I came from Nepal to the Netherlands so my partner and I can live together. In October 2016, our wish finally came true when my partner received PDEng opportunity at Eindhoven University of Technology (TU/e). We have been living in Eindhoven since then.
Our relationship has crossed over a decade now. 12 years ago I met him through social media. Few calls with him and I knew he is the one. For someone who always ran from love, I was finally in love and to everyone’s surprise I didn’t want to let him go. We struggled through too many ups and downs because of some unknown rivalry between our fathers and to some extent difference in religion (he is a Buddhist and I am a Hindu). But we survived the turmoil together. In the end, everybody gave in to our love. in December 2017, our love was tied to a traditional knot. Before that we were, however, legally married.
Going abroad seemed as an ultimate escape out when our parents did not approve us. So we first applied to Germany. Unfortunately, I could not go because of my three-years Bachelors and he got acceptance to one of the technology university. Our plan backfired. At least in Nepal we were able to meet each other. But for three years then on, we were going to be miles away. We accepted our faith. But before he left to Germany we both announced about our relationship at home, openly for the first time. It wasn’t easy for a year, especially to him. I joined Masters in Nepal and by the time he was working in Germany I had finished my study as well.
We then planned to arrange for my dependent visa. That is why we decided to do a court marriage in 2015. But then again, before I could join him in Germany we had to wait at least six months for his probation to end. Then came another challenge when the project he was working on had to be dismissed. We were so close to be together in Germany. In contrary he himself had to think of his future in Germany. So, while he was contemplating about his future abroad, PDEng at TU/e came as one of the options. Should he go for job search or apply the PDEng as suggested by his friend? As if the universe conspired to finally end the distant between us by sending PDEng acceptance to our way.
He was in Nepal at that time. My visa process was easier and quicker because we applied together. Two weeks and finally the Dutch Embassy in Delhi, India stamped on our long-awaited dream. I didn’t have much time to prepare me and my family about my departure. I didn’t give much thought about anything else as we were finally going to be together. My world was going to change drastically but I was contented. All I wanted was to start a life with him in Eindhoven.
But when I think of it now, it was quite a risk I had taken. If it wasn’t for Get in Touch Program (GiT) my initial days especially would have been more challenging. TUe installed such a warm welcome from the first day. And Get in Touch kept the fire running in the cold, gloomy, wet weather of Eindhoven. Initially I didn’t know how GiT was going to function in our life. It was unexpected to find a family program like GiT and it was even more unexpected of the impact it has on spouses. I didn’t expect at all to make friends for my life. Albeit we meet once a week, it was enough supplement to keep the week running. I was really happy. I wasn’t studying or working but I was earning friends. International Spouse Program from TU/e, for GiT spouses with TU/e sports center card, strengthened our friendship further.
Though GiT program takes place on Thursdays, our meeting and friendship goes beyond that. We organize meetings with one another on other days as well. For instance, as I have interest in handicrafts, Agnes kindly offered to teach me some patchwork. My first patchwork lesson and after couple of hours work I come back home satiated. Likewise, Audrey invited me over to make felt keychain. And I invite friends to crochet now and then. Who knew there are so many creative people in our group! I want to explore further and bring the talents out in open.
However, our friendship continues even after spouses start working. Every now and then Audrey, Giulia, Mussarat, Swapnali and me plan a potluck or movie nights along with our partners. Elin, who went back to Sweden, comes to Eindhoven for a vacation and we don’t miss to spend time with her. Likewise, on 11 August 2018 my husband and I went to Park Hilaria with Mussarat and her husband. We had an amazing time. We played many games and ended up with various prizes. But the time that followed when we went to their place was sleeplessly awesome. We played ‘Ludo’ and then ‘Risk’. My husband and I were asked to have sleep over and there were no other alternatives provided (?). We kept on playing and at 6:00 in the morning we had to give up. Sleep over turned to stay over.
Harking back to my journey in GiT, in 2017 I attended most of the GiT meetups with occasional gaps now and then. But in 2018, I attended almost every one of them except in October, when I had my in-laws visiting. My regular meetings gave a different feeling of responsibility towards the new spouses. At first, I was sad I didn’t see any of my old friends. But eventually I made new ones. When I could help or suggest my new friends regarding their queries in Eindhoven, it elated me. My friend circle grew bigger.
GiT spouses, thus, is an integral part of me. Old or new, all the spouses blend in and my GiT family keeps on growing. It was when I was in Nepal for my wedding in 2017 that I realized what I left behind for four months. Wow! I missed Eindhoven and GiT a great time. I wanted everything to get over soon and get back to Eindhoven and to my usual Thursday life. What could be more beautiful than having a home away from home!
