“I will go anywhere with you as long as we are together. We have waited a long time for that.” 
My name is Megha Vaidya and I am a graduate of English and Culture. I came from Nepal to the Netherlands so my partner and I can live together. In October 2016, our wish finally came true when my partner received PDEng opportunity at Eindhoven University of Technology (TU/e). We have been living in Eindhoven since then.
Our relationship has crossed over a decade now. 12 years ago I met him through social media. Few calls with him and I knew he is the one. For someone who always ran from love, I was finally in love and to everyone’s surprise I didn’t want to let him go. We struggled through too many ups and downs because of some unknown rivalry between our fathers and to some extent difference in religion (he is a Buddhist and I am a Hindu). But we survived the turmoil together. In the end, everybody gave in to our love. in December 2017, our love was tied to a traditional knot. Before that we were, however, legally married.
Going abroad seemed as an ultimate escape out when our parents did not approve us. So we first applied to Germany. Unfortunately, I could not go because of my three-years Bachelors and he got acceptance to one of the technology university. Our plan backfired. At least in Nepal we were able to meet each other. But for three years then on, we were going to be miles away. We accepted our faith. But before he left to Germany we both announced about our relationship at home, openly for the first time. It wasn’t easy for a year, especially to him. I joined Masters in Nepal and by the time he was working in Germany I had finished my study as well.
We then planned to arrange for my dependent visa. That is why we decided to do a court marriage in 2015. But then again, before I could join him in Germany we had to wait at least six months for his probation to end. Then came another challenge when the project he was working on had to be dismissed. We were so close to be together in Germany. In contrary he himself had to think of his future in Germany. So, while he was contemplating about his future abroad, PDEng at TU/e came as one of the options. Should he go for job search or apply the PDEng as suggested by his friend? As if the universe conspired to finally end the distant between us by sending PDEng acceptance to our way.
He was in Nepal at that time. My visa process was easier and quicker because we applied together. Two weeks and finally the Dutch Embassy in Delhi, India stamped on our long-awaited dream. I didn’t have much time to prepare me and my family about my departure. I didn’t give much thought about anything else as we were finally going to be together. My world was going to change drastically but I was contented. All I wanted was to start a life with him in Eindhoven.
But when I think of it now, it was quite a risk I had taken. If it wasn’t for Get in Touch Program (GiT) my initial days especially would have been more challenging. TUe installed such a warm welcome from the first day. And Get in Touch kept the fire running in the cold, gloomy, wet weather of Eindhoven. Initially I didn’t know how GiT was going to function in our life. It was unexpected to find a family program like GiT and it was even more unexpected of the impact it has on spouses. I didn’t expect at all to make friends for my life. Albeit we meet once a week, it was enough supplement to keep the week running. I was really happy. I wasn’t studying or working but I was earning friends. International Spouse Program from TU/e, for GiT spouses with TU/e sports center card, strengthened our friendship further.
Though GiT program takes place on Thursdays, our meeting and friendship goes beyond that. We organize meetings with one another on other days as well. For instance, as I have interest in handicrafts, Agnes kindly offered to teach me some patchwork. My first patchwork lesson and after couple of hours work I come back home satiated. Likewise, Audrey invited me over to make felt keychain. And I invite friends to crochet now and then. Who knew there are so many creative people in our group! I want to explore further and bring the talents out in open.
However, our friendship continues even after spouses start working. Every now and then Audrey, Giulia, Mussarat, Swapnali and me plan a potluck or movie nights along with our partners. Elin, who went back to Sweden, comes to Eindhoven for a vacation and we don’t miss to spend time with her. Likewise, on 11 August 2018 my husband and I went to Park Hilaria with Mussarat and her husband. We had an amazing time. We played many games and ended up with various prizes. But the time that followed when we went to their place was sleeplessly awesome. We played ‘Ludo’ and then ‘Risk’. My husband and I were asked to have sleep over and there were no other alternatives provided (?). We kept on playing and at 6:00 in the morning we had to give up. Sleep over turned to stay over.
Harking back to my journey in GiT, in 2017 I attended most of the GiT meetups with occasional gaps now and then. But in 2018, I attended almost every one of them except in October, when I had my in-laws visiting. My regular meetings gave a different feeling of responsibility towards the new spouses. At first, I was sad I didn’t see any of my old friends. But eventually I made new ones. When I could help or suggest my new friends regarding their queries in Eindhoven, it elated me. My friend circle grew bigger.
GiT spouses, thus, is an integral part of me. Old or new, all the spouses blend in and my GiT family keeps on growing. It was when I was in Nepal for my wedding in 2017 that I realized what I left behind for four months. Wow! I missed Eindhoven and GiT a great time. I wanted everything to get over soon and get back to Eindhoven and to my usual Thursday life. What could be more beautiful than having a home away from home!
Leave a Reply